Happy Birthday to me! Another year older, another year (not so) wiser.
Now well into middle age, I feel somewhat in a limbo of achievement. I look at my now adult daughter and think, yeah I’ve done all that stuff. You know, the drinking, partying, fighting and f***ing. I’ve learnt so much and come so far. I think of all the amazing achievements I did at that age, like graduating from uni and winning European martial championships. But then I think of all the stupid stuff. The ridiculous things I said, the foolish things I did. A young kid trying to brave it in a grown-up world.
‘Is that a salad?’ asked the kid with candy-floss hair to the girl he fancied that was eating a salad.
Duh.
I should feel smart and wise knowing my innings is well over 50. All that knowledge, all that experience. Travelling the world, winning and losing money, writing books, collecting black belts like stamps. I do try to impart some of that wisdom on my kids, my younger cohorts. So maybe, just maybe, they don’t make the same mistakes as me. But somehow, I don’t feel particularly wiser. I’m still learning so much about life, still trying to figure it all out. What to eat, what exercise to do, how to sleep better. How to say the right things, wear the right clothes.
‘White or grey?’ asked the middle aged guy, deciding which flat cap to cover his bald head.
Neither. They both look stupid. Obv.
But I guess that’s life, right? We’re never going to be brilliant or wise or have it all figured out. We’re just going to be another year older. Hopefully, a bit better than we were. A bit wiser, a bit less imperfect. Some days we’ll take a step backwards, be less wise, be that young kid again. Some days we’ll bask in the glory of knowing we’ve been here before and have all the answers to all the questions. And other days, we’ll forgot all that crap, relax on the sofa with our loved ones, cherish the moment and eat far too many birthday brownies!
How old are you? How old do you feel? Do you feel wiser?
The Whisper: A Life Guide for Perfectly Imperfect People
Change your life, One day at a time.
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